“There’s No Place Like Home”
Inspired by “The Wizard of Oz“
Help! We’re characters from storybooks,
and we don’t know what to do.
We’ve fallen through a portal
and now we can’t get back through.
One minute we were looking
at the beauty of a wishing well,
and then we felt a hand behind
push us so that we fell.
Everything went very dark
as we were falling fast.
Then suddenly we landed
with a magical blast.
After the initial shock,
we all had a scary thought.
This wasn’t just an accident
and now we’re all distraught!
The Evil Queen must be the one
who pushed us down the well.
She clearly wants us out the way
so she can cast some wicked spell.
Oh please will you help us?
We simply must find a way
to get back inside our stories,
so that good can save the day.
Without us, what will happen
to the ending of each tale?
Without us, there is no one
to make sure the villains fail.
Aladdin won’t find the lamp.
How will I make my wishes?
Peter Pan won’t save Wendy.
Cockadoodle doo! Oh no! Poor Wendy!
Cinderella’s Godmother won’t show up!
I won’t go to the ball? I won’t meet the Prince?
Ah! I won’t get my glass slippers?
Dorothy won’t get to Oz!
But I’ve been following the yellow brick road for miles!
Pongo won’t find the puppies in time.
They’ll be fur coats!
It will be a DISASTER!
Wait, you’ve got an idea?
Of course! Why didn’t we think of that?
Let’s all hold hands with Dorothy
and the shoes will take us back.
There’s no place like home.
CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.
© 2018 Chrissy Kett
Performanced at The Bushey Festival June 2018
Inspired by Disney’s “101 Dalmations”
We’d like to tell you a little story
about dalmatians in all their glory.
We’ve written it down, with greatest of care,
so that, with you, our tale we can share.
Day one: we’ve had a lovely day.
We’ve had a walk and we’ve had a play.
With Mummy and Daddy we’ve had a great time.
Why, today has simply been divine!
And so, you see, it started well, but
we’ve still got much more to tell.
Let’s take a jump, and move straight ahead,
although the next part fills us with dread.
Day forty-two: we’re now six week old,
and fluffy, spotty, and handsome were told.
Today Anita heard a knock at the door,
and why she opened it, we’re not quite sure!
“Anita my dear, how lovely to see you,
I won’t stop long, I was just passing through."
“Would you like to see the baby, I’ll just go and get her?”
“Of course not, my dear, I came here for the fur.
Now fetch me those puppies and I’ll look at the spots.
I’ve simply no interest in looking at cots!
Ah, they’re perfect. I’ll take the lot,
and do send my best to the little tot.”
“I’m afraid the puppies are not being sold.
I’m not sure exactly what you’ve been told.”
“Getting those puppies is my ultimate dream.
Sell them Anita - that price is obscene.”
Dear old Anita just wouldn’t sell,
but on day fifty there is more to tell.
Along came two robbers who put us in a sack,
and shoved us in their van right at the back.
“Which way is it we have to go?”
“Don’t ask me! You’re meant to know!”
“No I’m not! It was up to you!”
“Now, you hang on, that’s just not true!”
And whilst this went on we crept back home.
The men didn’t realise they were alone!
And so, you see, we didn’t really go anywhere.
There never really was a massive great scare.
They added all that just for the movie,
thinking that would make it extra groovy.
But, truth be told, we just went home for a nap,
and settled down round Anita’s lap.
© Chrissy Kett 2012
Performed at The Shenley Festival June 2012
“A Mouse’s Tale”
Inspired by Disney’s “Cinderella“
We’re the mice from Cinderella,
and we’re really quite upset,
because no one ever thinks of us.
They always just forget.
“Oh, yes, of course we do,”
we hear you say to us.
“We remember Cinders
feeding Greedy Gus!”
Gus? Really? Dear oh dear!
Is that all that you can say?
When we made her a ball gown
and worked on it all day?
We really did try very hard.
Don’t you remember it at all?
We sang as we snipped and stitched
so that Cinders could go to that ball.
Is it our fault it was ruined?
That the sisters pulled it apart?
Was it our fault that they made her cry
and broke her tender heart?
No. It’s not. It’s not at all.
But that doesn’t matter to you.
If we said, “Who made the gown?”
You’d say, “The Fairy Godmother.” That’s who.
Yes. It was a beautiful dress. We know.
But she did use magic after all.
We didn’t have that luxury.
We had to sew our dress for the ball.
But do you remember our hard work?
No. You most certainly do not.
And now we’re a little fed up.
After all, we’re not asking for a lot.
So next time someone asks you,
“She looks stunning, don’t you think?”
You be sure to say, “Yes, yes very nice…
but she looked better in the pink.”
© Chrissy Kett 2019
“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.” Walt Disney