Comic Poems


Inspired by Disney’s “Frozen”

To our younger siblings, please will you take note,
what will happen to you, should you dare to quote,
another line of Disney’s "Frozen", script or score,
because, let us just warn you, we can’t take any more.
We’ll tell Mum all the deeds you’ve done,
and end your plans, and spoil your fun.
We’ll spill your secrets to the class,
and turn your life to public farce.
We’ll steal your drinks and your food,
and sabotage your happy mood.
And why? WHY?
We hear you cry. 
We’ll tell you why li'l sis and bro.
We hate the tune of "Let It Go".
We don’t want to be a crazy fan.
We don’t "wanna build a snowman".
We don’t care if Anna wants to play.
We don’t care if Olaf melts away.
We don’t care if Elsa freezes her sis.
Life without siblings would be bliss.
The story doesn't quite make sense,
and, frankly, Anna’s rather dense.
"The cold never bothered me anyway"?
What a stupid thing to say!
Princess Elsa would surely freeze,
standing amidst that icy breeze.
Especially wearing just that dress.
We know! She holds a power, yes.
And with sparkles and sequins upon her form,
what more does a girl need to keep her warm?
Ok. Fine. We’ll give you the dress. 
But there are a few other points we’d like to address. 
The trolls were never quite explained, 
and the prince’s love was clearly feigned.
Overall, the story’s really bad,
and nothing more than stupid fad.
We don’t want to riff like Idina M.
We don’t want to be like any of them.
And if we hear you sing one more shriek,
we’ll make your life extremely bleak.
So… L.E.T. I.T. G.O.
Will you please just
© Chrissy Kett 2015
Performed at The Shenley Festival 2015
“The Coffee Spell”

When Mum and Dad get up in the morning
it’s a scary sight to see. 
They look like trudging zombies, 
and it makes us want to flee! 
With fumbling hands, and eyes half-closed,
they stumble in their zombie gloom,
whilst we tip-toe about, for fear of our lives
and try to give them room. 
Somehow they manage to plod to the shower,
and get all fresh and clean, 
then they dress all smart for work
but still like zombies seem!
At that point, they seem to notice us, 
and weakly they will try to say,
“Get ready for school, will you please? 
We’ve got such a busy day.” 
Next, they zombie down the stairs.
How they don't fall, we don't know.
They thump down each and every step,
then into the kitchen go. 
And here is where the magic happens.
Here lies the mystery. 
For by the time we have joined them, down the stairs,
the zombies have ceased to be. 
For the kitchen is home to the magic pot 
(that’s a kettle to you and me). 
And with just a few little magic beans 
a potion is made called COFFEE.
This coffee is strong, powerful stuff,
and the spell works after just one sip. 
Their eyes go POP and their brains go TING. 
Then their words start to WHIZZ and WHIP. 
“Get ready for school will you please?
We’ve got such a busy day! 
Get up. Get down. Come here. Go there.
We must be on our way!” 
Now the zombies are definitely gone!
We hope the spell won’t last long…
But by the end of the day, the spell’s worn off.
The coffee monsters are no more. 
Mums are just mums and dads are just dads.
They’re back to the parents we adore.
We know one thing for certain, one thing for sure, 
one thing that will never be changed. 
We will NEVER drink that coffee stuff
that makes parents so deranged.
© Chrissy Kett 2016
Performed at The Shenley Festival 2016

“Laughter is timeless. Imagination has no age. And dreams are forever.”

Walt Disney

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